


Pumpkin

by Bruinhilda



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 02:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8185748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bruinhilda/pseuds/Bruinhilda
Summary: Cally's moondisc is about to cause trouble for the crew...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Imagine Blake's 7](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Imagine+Blake%27s+7).



> This story was prompted from an entry from the [Imagine Blake's 7 Tumblr.](http://imagine-blakes7.tumblr.com/post/151022524379/imagine-cally-growing-a-giant-pumpkin) "Imagine Cally growing a giant pumpkin." It takes very little prompting to inspire pages of nonsense from me...  
> (I encourage everyone to check the Imagine prompts out. Especially if you tend to write crackfic.)

 

The moondisc had felt out-of-sorts for some time. It was usually quite happy with its new life, in a sandbox free of predators or harsh environment, and a large mind to harmonize with when its keeper was around. The keeper was attentive, but not overly so. The moondisc would sing what it most wanted, and the big mind would answer, keeping both moondisc and keeper happy.

But something was wrong, and the moondisc couldn't sing what it was. It started shrilling to the big mind. The keeper could sing a more complex song than a moondisc; perhaps it could make things right again.

 

Cally woke abruptly. She was confused at first. Someone was in distress...

After a moment she realized the moondisc was agitated. That was unusual. She'd never found it to be unhappy except when she was absent for long periods of time. Its chatter and whispering when she slept was soothing, but now it was strident and clamoring for attention.

She turned the lights up and hurried over to the sandbox. The disc was shifting back and forth and side to side, warbling as it wandered around aimlessly.

//What is wrong, my little friend?// She held out a hand to it, and the moondisc scooted over to her. Its singing became pleading. There was a craving for sunshine...

Unusual again. Moondiscs needed some exposure to strong sunlight, but not very much. Hers was usually satisfied with less than an hour a week. Bemused, she switched on the little sun lamp she had pestered Avon into making for her. The disc scooted back into the center of the box to bask, its agitation easing and a happy warble taking its place.

Cally bent down and examined it carefully. The smooth disc was marred on one side by a discolored orange lump. She brushed a finger over it gently, provoking another shriek from the disc and causing it to scoot away. Cally withdrew her hand with an apology.

Frowning, she reached for the printouts she had on moondiscs. A quick scan of them showed nothing about diseases she'd overlooked. The information about budding was closer to the situation, but that was also wrong. Buds normally formed from the center of the disc, were the same color as the parent, and broke off when they were less than two centimeters in diameter. Her disc's lump was at least five, and irregularly shaped.

She put them down with a sigh, and pulled her clothes back on. Perhaps Orac would be able to advise her.

 

+I am extremely busy. Why must you continually pester me with frivolities?+

“Because Zen does not know the answer,” Cally answered calmly. Orac's buzzing tones almost matched the moondisc's. The computer was incapable of glowering, but it still somehow managed to give the impression it was.

+I am not a gardening tool! The problems of a plant's health are beneath my notice, and demeaning to my abilities.+

“Orac, just answer the question. What is wrong with the moondisc?”

+There is no available data on the subject. The moondisc species is considered to be extinct, therefore any caretaking data would be considered a historical curiosity at best, and not worthy of storage.+

“So you cannot find the answer,” Cally sighed.

Orac's buzzing reached a higher pitch at that. +Of course I can find an answer. I am merely pointing out the difficulties in doing so!+

Cally allowed herself a small smile. Orac might consider most tasks beneath him, but any hint that he was not infallible was an insult that had to be proven wrong. “So you will research the problem?”

+I will tell you the answer when I have found it.+

“Thank you, Orac.” Cally yawned. She should really go back to bed...

“Ah, Cally, you're awake.” Blake was in the doorway. “Do you have a moment? I wanted to go over your idea about raiding a weapons facility.”

“Yes, of course.” Cally was fully awake again, moondisc problems temporarily forgotten. Orac was left to consider his latest puzzle in peaceful isolation again.

 

It was almost a full day before Cally could return to her quarters. The planning session with Blake was interrupted by Gan giving the alarm. A flotilla of Federation pursuit ships had stumbled right across the Liberator's path, wrenching everyone out of bed and onto the flight deck. The battle had ended with their escape, and a fair amount of repair work needed. Followed by Cally's turn on watch.

She stumbled to the crew quarters feeling almost insensible, making a mental note to see about restocking the stimulants on board at the next available opportunity. She had completely forgotten about the moondisc until she opened her door and walked into a veritable jungle.

For a moment, she could only stare. Leafy red vines covered every surface, wall, and even dangled from the ceiling. The sun lamp was firmly twisted up in a knot of them near where the sandbox had been. It shone on something large and orange at the center of the largest bundle of vines.

Carefully, Cally pushed her way through. The vines twitched and brushed her shoulders as she passed. The moondisc's whispering increased as she approached, sounding...interested?

Except it wasn't the moondisc. It lay in fragments among shattered plastic and scattered sand, obviously dead. The orange mass behind it pulsed once, and the whispering took on a threatening tone.

Cally's eyes widened, and she realized she'd made a serious mistake. She backed away slowly, moving towards the door. The vines draped across her shoulders tightened and pulled at her.

//I am not a threat,// she sent, hoping it understood. //I will not harm you.// Not entirely true, of course, but she had no intention of trying to handle this alone. //See? I am leaving.//

The threatening whisper became a happy croon. However, the vines tightened further, reaching for her waist and legs. She turned and ducked down, pulling herself free and aimed straight for the door.

She almost made it.

 

Avon had some researches of his own he wanted Orac for, and was mildly annoyed to find someone had carelessly left the key in place. Vila, probably. He was reaching for it when Orac spoke up.

+Fascinating! Most fascinating! I must see this for myself.+

Avon paused. “What?”

+What is not a complete question.+

“You are being more obnoxious than usual, Orac. Very well. What have you found that fascinates you so?”

+The problem that Cally had me research. This is a most rare event, and I should observe the results firsthand. Kindly take me to her.+

“What?” Avon was completely nonplussed. “Orac, what, exactly, are you talking about? What must you observe firshand?”

+The moondisc. It is experiencing a most rare and unusual parasitical infection...+

//HELP!!!//

The telepathic yell was loud enough to rock Avon back on his heels. Without stopping to think, he snatched up Orac and ran for the crew quarters. Orac cheerfully buzzing the entire way.

 

Vila and Jenna were already outside Cally's door when they arrived. Jenna was pounding on the wall and calling to Cally while Vila worked on the door.

Blake and Gan came running from the other corridor. “What's wrong?” Blake panted.

“We don't know,” answered Jenna. “I can hear something talking in Cally's cabin, and it doesn't sound nice.” She glared at Vila. “Can't you get that door open any faster?”

“It's not locked,” Vila retorted. “Something's holding it closed.” He thumbed the button, opening the door a few inches before the servos whined in protest and the door jerked shut again. “See?”

“Here, let me.” Gan put his shoulder against the door. “Try now.”

“Orac, what the hell is going on?” Avon asked. Three sets of eyes swiveled away from Gan and landed on him.

+It would appear that the moondisc parasite has been allowed to grow unchecked. Given the amount of time elapsed since the infection was reported to me, and the blocked state of the door, it has probably infested the room.+

“What's this about a parasite?” Blake demanded. He was interrupted by a squeal from the door servos.

“Got it,” Gan grunted, and shoved the door fully open. He leaned against the housing socket while Vila shorted out the close mechanism. Red vines began wrapping themselves around his arms, and probed out into the corridor. Vila dropped his tools and scuttled back from the door until he hit the opposing wall with a thump.

“What the hell is that?!”

“The 'parasite', presumably.” Avon shoved Orac into Vila's hands, and grabbed a vine at random. It pulled away, then shot out and wrapped around his wrist.

Jenna leaned into the doorway. “Cally! Are you all right?!”

There was a muffled shout and thump. A flash of what might have been a hand waved just out of reach of the doorway. Jenna suddenly winced and put a hand to her head.

Blake reached over and steadied her. “Jenna? Are you all right?”

“Don't you hear it?” Blake shook his head. “It's the...whatever it is. It's shouting. Very loudly. I don't think it likes us.”

“Too bad.” Avon ripped his hand away. “Orac! How do we kill this thing?”

+I must protest. Killing the parasite prematurely would curtail my research of it. This is a most rare opportunity, and we must make the most of it.+

“Study it?!” Vila asked in horror. What if it eats us?”

+There is no reason this organism would eat humans. You are quite safe.+

“Tell that to Cally! Looks like it already ate her!”

“So make yourself useful and go get some weed killer,” Avon snapped.

“Huh?”

“Go get the guns, Vila,” Jenna said.

“Oh. Right.” Vila handed off Orac to Blake and scurried down the corridor. Blake glared down at the computer.

“Orac, your 'research' is threatening my crew and is promising to overrun the ship. Tell us how to kill it, or you will be observing it from very close quarters.” Blake held Orac close to the reaching vines for emphasis.

+I must protest-!+

“Protest all you want after we've killed this thing!” Avon snapped. The vines had ensnared his arms and were trying to pull him into the door. Gan was still leaning against the doorframe, but now he was holding on for dear life as the vines were trying to pull him off his feet.

Vila came clattering back down the corridor, arms full. Jenna moved towards him, and was suddenly swept off her feet. She hit the deck with a curse, and the vines yanked her into the room.

“Jenna!” Blake dropped Orac and ran after her. Vila dropped everything else and managed to catch the computer before it smashed to the deck.

“Blake, no!” Avon yelled, outrage in his tone. The vines grabbed Blake around the neck and pulled. Blake managed to brace his feet on either side of the door and pulled back, his face turning purple.

Gan roared, and there was an incredible sight as a huge mass of vines were ripped away, scattering across the deck and wriggling into corners. Vila yelped and danced away from them. There followed an incredibly rotten smell as the ends of the vines bled orange fluid over everything.

“ORAC!” yelled multiple voices. Avon fancied he even heard Cally yell it telepathically. The vines on his arms twisted tighter. Gan was dragging a choking Blake away from the door.

+There really is no need for such panic. This parasite is very short-lived, and will be nearing the end of its life cycle soon.+

“Not soon enough!” Vila yelled.

“Vila!” Avon was nearly screaming. “Put Orac down and shoot this thing!”

“What, me?”

“You're the only one with his hands free, idiot!”

“All right, all right...”

There was a squelch from inside the room. The vines suddenly loosened. Avon pulled and hit the wall as he was abruptly released. Vila paused with a gun finally in his hand.

There was a wet, almost obscene belching burst. And the corridor was suddenly obscured by a foul cloud of orange.

+Most fascinating.+ Orac proclaimed. Everyone else was busy coughing, but there were some strangled sounds that indicated someone would have cursed if they'd had the breath to do so.

The orange cloud settled to the floor. A slimy, orange figure shambled out of the door. Vila yelped and brought the gun up. And was promptly tackled by both Avon and Blake before he could shoot a very angry Jenna.

The pilot scraped a wad of gunk off her face and threw it directly into Vila's. The curse that caused impressed even Avon, who had never heard that particular invective before.

“Not. One. Word.” Jenna warned.

A second orange shape stumbled out of the room, dripping even more muck than Jenna.

“I want to kill someone,” Cally moaned. “Orac, why didn't you warn me about this?”

+You failed to come back for the answer. I cannot be expected to chase after humans and pester them with information like you pester me with questions.+

“He does have a point, however annoyingly put.” Avon glared at all and sundry, and then turned his attention to Orac. “Is all this...orange...dangerous to us in any way?”

+It is not toxic. The spores can only infect moondiscs and other related species. You are quite safe from infection.+

“Though we may die of the funk.” Jenna put an arm around Cally. “We are going to go get cleaned up.”

“And who's going to clear up the mess?” Vila asked. Five sets of eyes turned to him. “Now wait a minute...”

“We'll all do it,” Blake said. “After we get the worst of it off ourselves.” He sighed. “Cally, about keeping the moondisc on board...”

“It's dead, Blake. The parasite killed it.”

“Ah. I'm sorry, Cally.”

“Don't expect us to let you get another pet,” Avon warned.

That got a glare from Cally, with a matching one from Jenna. With as much dignity as they could muster under the situation, the two dripping women marched off.

Vila looked mournfully at the mess. “Does anyone know if there's a flamethrower on board?”

 

Wedged in a crack caused by the stress of the growing vines, a shiny red fragment glowed orange for a moment, then slipped back to red. It was absorbed as the crack sealed itself. After a few minutes, the wall popped the foreign particle free again, in an unused cabin. The baby moondisc warbled once, and then slid under the nearest surface, to stay out of sight of predators until it was bigger and stronger and ready to bud...


End file.
